After 7 years of writing my insanities, happiness, and senseless pain, I am now moving  away from blogdrive to move to another page.  I've been thinking about changing my blog for about 2 years now, just to have a fresh start.  I want the security that my thoughts are my own. This blog contained my excruciating journey in my search to happiness. Cheers to a new start. I'm taking a new step to greatness. Pen out!!

I will always remember how i was changed. Closing at 300 blogs :)

Everyone is saying how beautiful you are.  They say you are stronger and bigger than you should be. And it makes me warm and fussy inside, because i am proud of you. And yes you are beautiful, you will always be. I love you.  You are the greatest thing that ever happened to mommy. If i have to go through all the bad things in my life knowing in the end you will be mine, I will gladly break my heart and make the same mistake. You are my little fire.  Someday you will be like mommy, only stronger and wiser. I love you with my every breath.  And the people that surrounds you, loves you so much.  You are perfect and whole, never doubt that.  Because I will burn the city down if anyone tells you otherwise. I love you little fire.

The truth can make everything else a lie.  You can't help but question if there was any truth in each moment.  Wonder if everything was staged for the grand finale of devastation.
Just my 10 cents today.

Today, i was asked a question i cannot answer.  But i gathered my wits and spoke the truth, there probably was a pinch of pain in her heart.
Despite all my mistakes and bad judgement. I hope someday i can make her proud. I hope my choices now can redefine me.

I can say that my friends are the glue that holds my pieces together. Thank you for hitting me hard on the head and not allowing this great moment of my life pass me by.
And to my dysfunctional family, thank you for not leaving my side and giving me unconditional love.

I don't know how best i can describe the place i am now.  All the noises i hear were all gone. No it did not disappear, it's still there surrounding me, however, i can't hear it anymore.  Right now there is nothing but calmness and peace.  I never thought there could be such a place for me.  All my pain and regrets faded away in an instant.
And i realized, sometimes we want things to happen to us, and we get really angry and frustrated as we see everything falls apart. But as a true fool that i am, the one thing i wanted in life is already happening and i just didn't know it.  But i see it now, my happiness was given to me in a twist of fate.

So here i am gulping my fears.  In about an hour i will begin a new adventure.  Anxious, excited, afraid, and feeling loved, I will be opening a new door.  I hope that this one will make me better.  It's about time to explore greatness, right?
Let's see if i can do this one right. I'll try not to scream and tear up as i go through my life's transition.  Raise your glass!!

In my confinement i felt awfully alone.  No one there to rely on.  Begging for some attention.  I thought of dialing your number, but i know i will only be forcing you to care when you don't really want to.  I wanna beg no more.  If you really wanted to be there for me i wouldn't have to call for you, because you would already be standing beside me.

In dark days, sometimes i can't help but feel unworthy.  Unworthy to stay for. And unworthy to fight for. 
Maybe if i was a little of this, and more of that, maybe i would be enough for you to stay. Maybe just maybe if i was worth a little more, you would choose to stand by me. I could have meant more to you, and you wouldn't let me go.  But i wasn't was i?  If i was perfect enough i could have what they have.  Maybe i would be living their tale, instead of what i have.  I wish you could have told me how to become a little more worthy, before you slapped my hand.
But on the other hand, i wish you were worthy too.  Worthy of everything i sacrificed.  Not perfect, but just worthy, just like you promised you were.  You said you were worth coming back for.  You said you were worth staying for.  You said you were worth fighting for.  I really wish you were.

Once upon a time there was a maiden from a far far away  land.  Her life was hard, for she lives a love that turned her into a slave. She loved a man who pretended to love her back, only to imprison her to feed his own greed. So everyday she wishes and prays that her prince will come and save her from her miserable life.  Everywhere she goes, she holds one glass slipper, hoping that someday her prince will knock on the door and present the other half, just like in the old fairy tale.
She wonders if her prince got lost in the woods.  As she watch happily ever after happens around her, but never to her.Despite her dismay, she waits, things will get better and her prince will find her.  Yes he will never stop until he finds her, she thought, as she wipes her tears away.
As the years passed still without the missing glass slipper, her life got worst in the hand of the cruel man.  He led her on to destruction and left her mostly dead.  She screams her pain and she cried until there was no more sound. She waited for her prince to save her, but until the last minute of her life, her prince she hoped for never came.   And that was the death of Cinderella.